“When we become aware that we are telling ourselves stories, we begin to have a choice about what stories we are telling, and that is the true beginning of authoring our own existence. Rut or river, these strategies of our imagination tell us who we are, what our purpose is, and how we connect, or don’t, to the whole. “ Markova
I flirt with the idea, of telling my story…I waver back and forth with “what do I write today” out of not wanting to sound like a victim, or preachy or in process. However I am realizing to the utmost degree that my voice is the instrument for my experiences, and if I am to be playful and joyous, All of mySelf needs to be expressed. And how does that look? How would that feel?
I am on the threshold of discovering, finally…with EYES OPEN WIDE…my purpose. I feel that I have found the right seed and noticed and honored the Divine potential of this seed to truly be nourished and cared for by mySelf.. to sprout and grow… mySelf… fully. I have been tangled in confusion (at least that is the story I have been telling myself) concerning my path and purpose in life. For years I just didn’t know, and yet was somehow guided to study at a School for Women’s Sacred Arts and Midwifery…and then to herbal studies, plant spirit medicine (Soma-studies), and yoga. I have studied with the best of the best…masters of the fields…close to them as well as in conferences and workshops. My heart is telling me that there is a way to blend them all in a manner that is woven, integrated, whole and beautiful. That my unique integration is a reflection of who I am inside, and how I share this with the world. So of course, with some Divine Intelligence and support from the Cosmos, this winter I have dedicated to that integration of all of my external passions to see what is brightest within me.
I am on a great track. The fuzz is getting clearer, things that I had attached to that are not serving me are falling away (some due to their time being over with me, some I have grown out of, and others I realized I was tangled in someone else’s dharma (uh-co-dependency anyone?!) The next step is to notice what I do love...and how I do want to spend my life…the stories that I tell mySelf no longer scraped up from the dregs of lack but birthed from the wellspring of abundance and joy.
The words that come clearly now are Sacred Feminine. Sacred Flow. Yoga Ceremony. Devi Puja. Herbal Rituals. Soma Healing. Ojas Building. Nourishing the Womb. Sacred Space. Yogini Shakti. Yoni Shakti. No longer turning the other way or pushing aside my dreams for something else (waiting for the right time, more studies, more clarity, more money, more need in the world for my gifts, more courage…!?) Im seeding now….seeding my dreams to birth mySelf into the world. JAI MA!!